Dr. June Reinisch, Director Emeritus & Senior Research Fellow of the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender & Reproduction, discusses the following interesting research-based facts about affairs in her youtube video Myth: Most Married People Are Unfaithful:
- Average affair lasts 1 year
- Men report liking their wife better than mistresses – husbands are not attached emotionally to their outside partners the way they are to their wife.
- Women report liking lovers better than husbands – women seem to be much more emotionally attached to their outside partners
- Only 17% of men plan to leave their marriage while having an affair, and only 9% said they plan to leave their marriage for their affair partner and marry her.
- Even smaller number of women, 10% plan to leave the marriage while in or because of an affair and an even smaller number plan to marry their affair partner.
- Extramarital affair does not seem to mean that the person is getting ready to leave his or her marriage.
- Infidelity is not #1 reason for divorce, which means many marriage either keep going with an affair, or recover from an affair and stay intact.
If you are the “other” person in the affair, this research is one more reason to start letting go – because your love triangle relationship is unlikely to turn into a full-blown dyad. Take a look at resources for letting go.
If you are the person being cheated on, good news, you have much more power to keep your partner than you think. You need to know how to use that power.